I recently watched the movie, How To Be Single, if you haven’t seen it, it’s about one woman’s journey about learning what it means to truly be “single”. After watching the movie, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Wow, this is so me.” I related to the main character in this movie more than any other I’ve seen.
You see, I haven’t been truly single since I was 14 and a sophomore in high school. OK sure, I wasn’t in a relationship for the past 5 years but I always went from one relationship to the next. Never really taking the time to myself in between to really deal with the respective breakups. My solution to relationships ending was to talk to someone else. At the time, it worked.
That was until, my freshman year of college. This is when I had my first real heartbreak, the one that really shook me to the core. No matter how many times I tried to “rebound”, I just couldn’t do it.
After this, I realized I can’t just hide my pain and emotions in someone else. I have to really and truly feel these things called emotions. I had to figure out how to truly be alone. I was so used to having someone always there, someone to talk to, someone to hug when I needed one, etc. I had to learn how to be OK with being alone and realize that I have to love myself before I can truly love anyone else.
I stepped back and asked myself, “When did I stop being enough?”
For me, I let the relationships define me, I let my dreams fade to the background and I was too focused on making my significant other happy. So being single these past two years has given me a chance to put my focus back on myself. I am learning how to love myself for who I am. I’m no longer trying to fit into a mold of who I believed I was or who I thought other people wanted me to be.
The truth is YOU are enough just the way that you are and you don’t need someone else there to make you feel like you’re worth something.
Being single doesn’t define you, in truth it gives you time to be by yourself, with yourself. It’s a time to truly get back to yourself, to reflect, to accept, to forgive and let go.
As Carrie Bradshaw would say, do yourself a favor, and don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.
So here’s to being single and all the amazing things that you’ll discover about yourself.