Ever since I could remember I have never felt as though I fit in with the kids my age. Sure I got along with them just fine but I was never the type to go out and want to do everything that everyone else was doing. I was always in my own little world and never really understood what was so interesting about going out, partying, and just doing reckless things. Now don’t get me wrong I have nothing against those who do that, it was just never my thing. I was always happy with having a night in with my friends and watching a movie or even just enjoying the time I had to myself. I was comfortable with my routine, I didn’t want it to change. By not going out or putting myself out there I became complacent. I wanted simple and familiar. I didn’t want to step out of my comfort zone. I was scared.
Throughout my Freshman and the beginning of my Sophomore year in college a realization occurred within myself, I realized that it wasn’t the actual change itself that I was afraid of… It was the fear of what was to come and of what I would lose in the process. I was afraid I would lose my sureness in myself, I was afraid to lose my comfort, afraid to lose my routine. I’d like to say that I’m less afraid of change now that I made this realization but habit is a bad thing. I can say though that I am less worried about knowing what the future is going to hold. I’ve become much better at just going with the flow and I realize that it’s OK to not be sure of yourself all of the time. It’s OK to be uncomfortable, it’s how we learn and how we grow.
As I continue to tackle this journey we call life, I try to keep in mind that no matter what the change is or how bad it may seem at first to give it time…It could end up being the best thing that has happened thus far in your life. I have also realized that while going through the process of change, the mourning for what we potentially could lose or have lost can cloud our vision to see the good in the change, makes it hard to see the new. Fighting change does nothing but make the transition harder but by just sitting by and letting change passively affect your life isn’t good enough either. Change is a major aspect of life, it happens, so we either need to choose to grit our teeth and bear it or make the change work for us. Either way it’s a choice you alone have the ability to make
Sincerely, Meggy xoxo